On the Future

I'm blogging again, like 10 minutes after my last post.  I told you I get super thoughtful late at night.  Hopefully this one will have more resinence with the general public.  I'm entering grade 12 in a few months (I know, ahhhhh)  at my hick school in the boonies and not in the Ghetto, goodness I miss that Ghetto.  Anyways, I don't know what I want to do the year after that....
Pharmacy?  It payes well, they always need pharmacists, I love chemistry.  Amazing schools offer it. It's a TON of work.  When I found out I loved Chemistry I determined that this would be the perfect career for me.  I would go to Mermorieal and become a Pharmacist..super easy, I'll make money and blah blah blah.  Everything seemed to fall in place regarding it.  Then I hated Physics, so I started looking at other schools, then I just dropped Memorial (Why oh why do you require Phyics MUN?)  But Pharmacy just doesn't seem to be flying with me anymore.  I know it's great, I really do, but..I hate people.  I'm npt so good interacting with them, I mumble, Can't strand most of them.  Pharmacy is all interacting with people, that's what you do.  The thought of going to work everyday to talk to people makes me ill.
Then History came into the mix.  every single time I take a history clas I fall in love with it again.  I love reading, history simply clicks with me.  I remember it and I love it.  I don't mind researching and writing essays, If I can get of my butt and not procrastinate.  Truth be told I'd rather write essays than do labs.  Ugh I hate labs.  I can get a Bachelor of Arts in History and go on my merry way.  I don't want to teach, I can't teach.  i could monologue..which is what I'm doing right now.  I could become a prefessor, not a teacher for sure.
You see I stand at a crossroads, one way the Arts the other way the Sciences.
I want to choose History so bad.
If  I go into History I want to go to a Christian University, Redemer mostly, I want to live on Calvin Court, that would be so cool.
If I do go into Pharmacy( which I feel sick every time I think about it) I want to go to a secular university,  I could only go to a secular school.
You see with Pharmacy I feel like I'll be locked in.  That I will have to work for the Pharmcay that will hopefully sponser me for ever.  This is bad because well..I want to have kids.
My utter most dream and goal in life since I can remember is to be a wife and mom (Stay at home mom at that)  this goal has followed me through the nurse faze, the female hockey player faze, the teacher faze, the punk music star faze ( in the fanfiction of that era I've got 3 kids..) 
But with history I'll have huge debt...
Maybe I don't want to do anything, maybe I just want to get married and work and have kids and forget about all this higher schooling crap.

"Studying is hard and boring. Teaching is hard and boring. So, what you're telling me is to be bored, and then bored, and finally bored again, but this time for the rest of my life?"-An Education

I think I really should go to bed now.